Attitude of Gratitude

Okay, it’s official… I’m freaked out! I bought my ticket to move to Boston last Friday. I leave A’dam on Friday, March 28th. I have an appointment with an apartment finder on Saturday, March 29th at 10AM. I figure – why wait? But I do have a hotel for two weeks, just in case!

I don’t know what my problem is, but I feel completely overwhelmed. Suddenly I question why I’m leaving here when things are just getting warmer and people have started smiling again and there are so many cool places nearby. And I don’t really have to do anything myself. My company pays for the packing and moving of my stuff. Yes, even the packing. I literally just have to open the door and point to what is mine.

But I’ve been trying to weed through all the stuff I came over with three years ago and all the stuff I’ve accumulated since and get rid of what isn’t needed. And you’d be surprised about what isn’t needed. All that stuff I kept and never used is finally being thrown out. I’ve already gotten rid of several bags of clothes and knick-knacks. I was thinking of throwing out the pink wig but thought better of it! ;-)

So, yes, I’m feeling like a deer in the headlights. Unable to actually function and get anything done. Instead of planning for my departure I sit around and play around on the computer, doing absolutely nothing, or stare blankly at the TV. It is amazing how much time you can waste doing nothing. Meanwhile, I sit looking at a cluttered apartment feeling very anxious.

Breathe in, breathe out. I got a foot massage yesterday at the local Chinese massage place to try to relax. 20 Euros for 30 minutes. SO worth every euro cent!

And today I fly to Portugal for work. Back on Wednesday. Back out to Turkey for the weekend with a friend. Then, the next weekend, my big blowout goodbye party. My friends from Germany are coming and I’m psyched about that. Maybe if I wasn’t always on the road I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed. Or maybe not.