Merry Christmas to everyone out there!
This year I had an amazingly problem free Christmas with none of the usual family issues that plague my (and probably your) family each year. There were no fights, no disagreements about how things would go, and none of the usual stress. It was absolutely delightful. And much different from my experience two years ago, when I ruined Christmas, at least according to my stepmom.
It started with what I thought was an innocent phone call talking with a member of my stepmom’s family that I ended up making me upset. I decided to talk to my stepmom about it, after all, that is what daughter and mother’s do – they are supposed to have close relationships where they talk about everything, right? Riiiigggghhhhtttttt.
I let my stepmom know the phone call upset me, and this is where it got really weird. After expressing that the call had hurt me, I expected a compassionate, loving response from her. Instead she FREAKED OUT on me. She yelled and screamed at me (which was not so weird), and the entire situation escalated to become the worst fight I’ve ever had with anyone (which was weird). I thought at the age of 35 (or 63, in her case), we were all grown up and didn’t do these childish things.
Once the assault was basically over, I realized that I would never talk her into seeing my point of view and that the only thing I could ultimately control was myself. I was still visibly shaken and upset by the fight, but decided to move on with my day. Meanwhile my stepmom was sulking in her room where she’d escaped to a half hour earlier when she ran off and slammed the door. That was all after telling me that she wanted me to leave the house.
I was getting ready go out when she finally emerged from her room. I thought she had calmed down and wanted to talk about it when I heard her angrily scream, “Where are you??” I said I was in the bathroom, and a moment later her red, irate face appeared. And then the words came out. The ones etched into my memory until the end of time, the ones that have made me reluctant to return back to Texas for Christmas, and that have ultimately altered my relationship with my parents.
“And by the way, YOU’VE RUINED CHRISTMAS!!!”
What? Are we 5 year olds here? I mean, come on!!!
Over the years since that, I have told the story over and over, each time laughing at the sillyness of it. I mean, seriously, who says stuff like that? It has even been a tagline for Jimmy and Stacie who use it all the time, for just about anything that happens that is screwed up. I even thought about making shirts with the exclamation.
So you can imagine my surprise this year when things went wonderfully – I think for the first time EVER!! And I even felt sad to leave my family – another first! I realize now that my dad is nearly 70 years old and won’t be around forever, so I have to take advantage of the times we have left. So, I’m grateful that finally, at the age of 37, my family life has appeared to become somewhat stable, and that we can truly enjoy Christmas and our time together.
Hope yours was just as joyous!